After showing my first script to my peers I received some feedback that suggested there was no ‘middle’ in my story so I then had to add and revise some scenes. I also had to think about what the ‘bang’ moment in my film would be. Whilst thinking about some of these changes I also had to start thinking about how long each scene will be and if it will fit into my time limit of 3minutes. Some of the revisions to my script was to add a new scene that would explain that her stealing would be for a course of time and to also think about removing a scene that would not necessarily be needed.
Jane walks down the stairs and rummages through her bag to get her oyster. She thinks she may have lost it so she sighs feeling fed up
“I can’t believe this, today is just not my day”
She then goes to walk back to the help desk, places her hand in her pocket and realises she has misplaced it. She taps her oyster, walks through the barriers and walks down the road to get her daily coffee fix.
Jane sits down impatient and bored, she looks around as if she is awaiting a phone call. Each minute passes by and she begins to get more restless. She sits and waits for a phone call and decides to make the phone call herself.
“ *ring* *ring* *ring* *ring**ring* beep answer machine “
When no one answers she decides to put down the phone and then begin to make a list of the things she wants to do in the new year. Once she has her idea she gets up and leaves the coffee shop.
Walking out the coffee shop and through the shopping centre she spots a shop and has an idea, she decides to go in.
Jane walks in the shop and can see a set of pens. She feels very spontaneous and decides to drop her jacket and hides the pens in her jacket as she walks out.
After running around the corner she sighs with relief and feels her adrenaline pumping.
Jane has a box and starts to chuck all her stolen goods in there carelessly one by one, each item making a thud. As the day goes by the box of items start to mount up and the box begins to get full. Feeling proud of herself she then goes out one last time.
INT.SHOP LAST SCENE
Jane is walking around a shop with her bag on her arm feeling mischievous, She looks and walks around lightly touching the ground. She has a look around at the endless amount of items placed on the shop floor.
As jane goes to steal another items she looks up at and sees a guy looking at her. She feels butterflies in her stomach and has a short think about what she is doing. She looks away and puts the item down.
She has a little walk around the shop and makes her way back to this young handsome guy but as she walks back up to him she sees that he is doing exactly the same thing as what she was doing and feels puzzled.
Jane steps back shockingly and creeps away from him
“what am I doing?”
Jane then walks out the shop and slowly walks down the road
Whilst thinking about what is happening in my film I did not think about what type of music that would be in the editing but is something I will think about whilst I am editing to see what goes best with the atmosphere created.